It's OVER !

Finally!
Happened what I don't what it happen....
It's over!
We were over!
Today we argue....
Faces and me,
Which one will Genia choose....
I thought she will choose me instead of faces...
At first she really choose me,

I was very happy and satisfied at that moment!
But after a few minutes,
I received her message and she told me she unable handle it anymore,
she choose to give up...
Which mean she choosing faces but not me....
Finally I realize that I'm just nothing for Genia...
I felt so disappointed...
I choose to left....
She never feel regret on losing me....
Just now she called me...
We chat a while....
But I told her that she was late....
Then she just disappear just like that...
I called her many times and she didn't pick up my call....
At this moment....
I was thinking.....
Wondering why she didn't pick up my calls....
I wish she will tell me honestly why she didn't pick up my call....
But.....
It is just a day dreaming thinking....

Problem solved?

After yesterday arguments,
today Genia wanted me to give her some spaces to calm down herself and think deeply what is going on with us....
After half day,
Genia text me...
She told me she had pass through those problems...
Problem was solved after discussion...
Is it really solved?
I'm still worry about it....
I not dare to tell her about I don't feel the problems were solved (but I write at here she also will see it soon one....)
I feel very weird...
It is like someone who broke into your house and help you fix your door locks back...
Something feels like unsafe....
Feel very worry...
Silent before the storm...
Are those problems solved?
Are those problems had gone just like that?
Those problems won't happen again in future?
God!
I beg You!
Please leave those problems far away from two of us!
Thanks You Lord!
Amen!

Argghhhhhhh !!!!

Very angry now!
Actually today I'm going to write a nice blog....
But now I don't have any mood to write anymore!
Yesterday happened a lot of things,
Genia and Gino went out,
they were very happy and enjoy at the beginning...
When almost reach the ending,
story had been changed...
It turn into a bad story...
Many arguments between Genia and Gino...
They angry to each other...
Argue about 2 hours at the same place....
After argue,
they both calm down and sweet back....
they promise won't argue with each other anymore...
But!
Today....
They argue again just now because of Genia didn't hang up Gino calls...
Gino very worry about what happened to Genia...
Genia call back and Gino hang up,
Gino straight strictly blamed Genia...
Genia was very angry and scolded Gino back....
After they met...
Genia apologized but Gino didn't heard it....
So Gino keep blaming and saying why he angry....
After that they were happy back,
they forgive each other....
Gino sent Genia back homed...
After reach home,
Genia told Gino that Genia was tired,
she wanna sleep...
Gino sense somethings wrong...
Gino know Genia lazy to bath...
Gino persuade Genia to bath before sleep...
But Genia rejected.....
They start argue again!
Gino very angry and said won't care anymore...
Gino found that he unable to control anyone,
he just can control himself....
Actually he always feels disappointed because he unable to make people doing things in the best way because no one will following his plan....
Gino started feel tired....
Gino don't want be kepo anymore...
The more he kepo,
the more he get scolded and blamed...... 

Facing a lot of PROBLEMS.....

I run away from problems always,
I found that I'm a successful coward!
I able run away from all problems,
stay in my own comfort zone...
Now I starting face them all back...
Sometime I so glad I still able keep my personality till now...
But....
This realistic world told me that I unable keep my personality...
I should let go myself,
let it change....
Let it gone...
Be someone which able stay in realistic world....
Am I should change become realistic person?
Should I?
Dad treat me like enemy,
he ego,
I ego too...
He want face,
act like he is professional...
Please la,
don't be a clown please...
You are not very professional...
You just a guy that need face but always making shame on yourself...
Why you cannot accept your son become more intelligent than you?
You think you are better than me?
I not a kids anymore,
I grow up already...
I not stupid already...
Can you please accept the truth which your son is already pass you far away?

Genia's father is back...
Her father not allow Genia to be with me...
Her father buy a lot of things for her...
Her father show his power,
how powerful he able support her daughter...
I unable give Genia this kind of power...
I only able give Genia spiritual power...
Haizzz....
Will you want spiritual power or father's power?
I very lost...
Am I still need to keep my own personality or change myself?
Join into society?
Become one of them?
Acting in real world?
Snatching people things?
Be actor?
Be asshole?
Be someone who have angel face devil heart?
I should face these all problems?
Or I just run away again?
These all problems actually doesn't harm me at all because I didn't addict with it...
I no need a lot of money,
I no need fame,
I no need nice stuff,
I no need enjoy....
You give me rice plus vegetables,
sausages,
hams or eggs...
These all is already enough for me to keep survive for whole life...
I know it is a damn boring meaningless life...
But I feel satisfied with this lifestyle...
I'm such an alien....
Genia,
if you watch this,
I know what is going to happen...
Genia!
Listen to me!
I just write out to show you!
Doesn't mean what you thinking after read it!
Don't think wrongly Genia!
Please!

To obey or not....

To obey or not?
Should I just obey?
No matter how bad is the decision I also need to obey?
Why this realistic world so cruel?
We just start facing each other by real us....
But we need to obey and leave each other alone at next moment!
What is happening?
Why so cruel?
Why so realistic?
Is it the only way to solve this problem is obey?
After obey,
is it all things will going will smooth?
What should I do?
Waiting for MIRACLE?
Is it miracle exist?
Is it really exist?
This is what we need to face to make our Love more tough?
Wow!
What a nice challenge...
I need to stay strong!
My Genia still need me to support her!
I cannot defeat easily!
Stand up!
Gino!
Stay strong!
Genia need you!
Arghhhh!!!!!!!!!

Genia very tired...

Genia,
I'm so sorry because recently I making Genia feeling tired...
This few days Genia always sleep early and hard to waked up,
some more sleep in class...
Why this few days Genia so tired?
I think I know the reason...
Genia so tired isbecause Genia and Gino now facing many problems...
Parents.....
Future......
Career......
Education.....
Genia,
I know you so tension because parents keep on going forcing you,
your Gino keep staying in his comfort zone....
You hard to make decision...
Sorry because I make you so tired....
I'm so selfish...
Just because of my suck theory,
You get suffer a lot....
Genia,
so sorry,
I am the reason why you feel tired always....

I'm too FAILED !

My Genia is already sleeping right now.
I so hate myself!
Why I'm so failed?
I so successfully make Genia's parent hate me!
Just because I unable control myself missing Genia!
I miss Genia!
Wanna accompany Genia always!
Even is just sitting beside her,
I will full so happy and satisfied.
I didn't want anythings,
I just wan to stay right beside Genia!
Haizzzzz....
Sorry Genia,
I should be more mature,
I should control myself,
I should let your parent like me but not hate me!
I'm so failed!
Please forgive me Genia...
I just wish to stick with you time to time...
Just stay beside you is already enough for me....
I love you Genia!
I miss you!
I need you!

Harsh

Today I am so harsh,
very harsh,
I'm forcing Genia to obey....
Genia is very angry with me,
I'm so sorry Genia...
I'm too care about you,
I just wanna make sure you are safe.
I so worry I unable protect you.
Today I saw your mother try to shoot you when watching drama,
I feel so hurt when watching you get shot.
I don't know have you sense it or not.
I just know I heard it,
it sound not nice,
hope Genia didn't feel it....

Yesterday night so scary,
first time facing this kind of problem,
get shocked and hate myself because I unable handle this problem.
I just wish she able listen to what had I told her,
just now she didn't change but getting worse..
So worry if she still continue like this,
the problem will be more danger...
May God bless us!

Ego...

I am an ego person ya...
Actually,
all I want is just spending time with you always.
I feel very comfort if stay close with you.
I might be selfish because I just want you spend your time with me.
So I had decided,
weekdays you may accompany your friends,
public holiday is belongs to me,
weekend is also belongs to me but sometime you may join JL.
I wish you feel comfort with this decision that I had made.

Just now is my first time,
using cotton helping you,
I'm worrying I too over till hurt your eyes.
So happy that I had succeed to done it,
your eyes are getting better.
So happy!!!!
I wish I can just look at you time to time,
just looking it,
focusing on it and appreciating it...

It is so good to be true,
Can't take my eyes on You!

It is not a Dream!

Genia,
It really is not a dream!
I'm glad that you are really appear...
Today when I heard that voice after I pick up the phone call,
I was get shocked,
I thought what had happened to you...
Luckily nothing happened,
I'm glad to hear many of your friends know you have me...
I would like to protect you!
I know you still not yet ready yourself,
I will give you sometime...
Sorry if I had made you feel scare or shocked ya...

One more thing,
Today is the third day already,
it is mean the turbo had stop cause passed 72 hours already,
but you don't worry about it ya...
I'm not open turbo since first day till now...
This thing will longer lasting....
Except....
When I was died,
this thing will still lasting for a while....
hahahaha...
So amazing!
It is real!

I'm back now !

Finally,
I'm back now....
What a long period I had gone...
Nahhhhh!!!!
Genia,
I am back now...
I am back because of Genia....

I am not dreaming,
I think I am not dreaming now,
I able feel it.....
I had done a big mistake,
hurting Genia because of my stupid mistake...
I am making Genia feel so guilty...
Finally I dare to face Genia but I hurt Genia at the same time too...
So hate myself,
why I am such a stupid asshole....

Genia,
I am telling you now!
Listen carefully,
You are not dreaming right now!
This is REAL!